How to stop being unreliable.
Minute For Your Health #38
Does it ever happen, that you intend to do something and then you don’t?
Maybe you said you would start jogging and then you didn’t.
Maybe you said you would take out the trash and then you didn’t.
Maybe you said you would stop checking your phone before bed and then you didn’t.
If that’s you, then you’re just like most of the rest of the human population.
We are, as a rule, not good at doing what we say we will - especially when that thing only really affects ourselves.
In this week’s email I’ll give you my top tips for doing what you say you will - and the evidence behind them.
Stop thinking you should.
We often say we will do things because we think we should.
I should be healthier, so I should eat less sugar.
Most of us are not very motivated by should. Anything that is a should is a chore. And let’s face it - none of us love chores.
Try to think about what you want instead.
Do you want to feel strong, healthy and fit in your body? Does sugar make you feel that way? Perhaps if it doesn’t, you don’t want to eat so much sugar?
Thinking about the same goal in terms of want rather than should can feel empowering and inspiring.
It also helps you connect to your values - if health is something you value, it’s probably worth investing in your health. If it isn’t - maybe it’s not worth setting those goals?
Clear up barriers in advance.
When we don’t do something we say we will, we often feel lazy or unreliable.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not lazy.
In fact, knowing what really stops you can help you clear up any barriers before you try to do what you said you would.
Barriers can be:
Practical: time, financial, resources, weather
Emotional: boredom, self limiting beliefs, hopelessness
Motivational: lack of support, focusing on what you should do
Habitual: routine, automatic behaviours
Physical: pain, tiredness, fatigue, lack of skills
Environmental: lack of opportunities, work environment
When you are planning to pick up a new habit consider which of these might get in the way of you actually doing it. Then think about how you could overcome these barriers.
Be patient.
Picking up a new habit never happens over night.
It is totally normal to have days when you easily do what you said you would and days when you simply don’t.
The key is not to let this stop you trying. In 3 or 6 months you will notice that this new habit or routine has become effortless… without you even really noticing the transition.
A gift for you.
I’m so grateful for each and every one of you that reads these posts and reaches out to me via comments, messages and emails afterwards. I have so much fun sharing what I have learned and I love hearing back how you implement it.
As a thank you gift I wanted to share a little ‘Making Change’ e-book that I have designed. It’s a workbook that will help you put the 3 principles described above into practice.
Summary:
Most of us struggle to do everything we say we will - especially when we’re trying to pick up a new habit. I’m here to tell you it’s not because you’re lazy. It’s most likely because you’re intending to do things you think you should do not things you want to do, because you’re not considering the barriers that get in the way and because you’re not being patient enough when you’re not consistent.
Know someone who beats themselves up for being unreliable? Share this article with them.
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Links and References:
Michie, S., Van Stralen, M.M. and West, R., 2011. The behaviour change wheel: a new method for characterising and designing behaviour change interventions. Implementation science, 6(1), pp.1-12.
Rollnick, S., Heather, N. and Bell, A., 1992. Negotiating behaviour change in medical settings: the development of brief motivational interviewing. Journal of mental health, 1(1), pp.25-37.
Ryan, R.M., Patrick, H., Deci, E.L. and Williams, G.C., 2008. Facilitating health behaviour change and its maintenance: Interventions based on self-determination theory. The European health psychologist, 10(1), pp.2-5.
Hall, K., Gibbie, T. and Lubman, D.I., 2012. Motivational interviewing techniques: Facilitating behaviour change in the general practice setting. Australian family physician, 41(9), pp.660-667.
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